Extreme Loneliness

The following video contains some of the writing below;

“Being the boss anywhere is lonely. Being a female boss in a world of mostly men is especially so.” ~Robert Frost

Isn’t it amusing that the author of that quote is a man. Now before you slam me, I am not into Women’s Liberation. I am into something called Spiritual Liberation or Spiritual Awakening. I don’t mean this in the way you would think of it like some bizarre religion or obscure cult. I mean the spirit who awakes and flattens fences; our inner child. Now whatever religion you want to attribute that to is up to you.

What is great about the quote is that it came from a man and I loved that he recognized something about women. But I would be equally as impressed if a person said something profound about an animal or if a woman had insight into a man’s world.

I’ve always hated that men and woman should ever suggest only men understand men issues and women understand women’s. Lots of people out there are very aware of things which have nothing to do with them. I had a great conversation with a man who has never been married and he had more insight and knowledge about how a relationship works than people who have been married for 40 years. You don’t have to have your own children to know good parenting from bad. You don’t have to be a teacher to instill positive things in many young people.

These types of people are Observers of Life. They are not trying to control it and they are not looking for anything in return. They have slotted themselves in to the bigger picture and are very sensitive towards others.

This Observer of Life will be the first to stop and offer kindness to somebody who appears lonely. They might offer some assistance or they may just offer an ear. They might not even approach the person who is lonely, but that person will be on their mind for a long time.

I have had so many of these people in my life when I was extremely lonely. Have you ever been to a BBQ or family function where there is a young teenager who is sitting alone and looking detached? Feeling lonely doesn’t necessarily come from being physically alone. I love when someone beats me to approaching them and strikes up a conversation. I’ve seen lonely people barely tolerate the conversation because they simply don’t feel connected to the person. The Aunt or Uncle might say something that isn’t very helpful like, “Cheer up!” or the one I hate; “Turn that frown upside down.” Come on, like that is a game changer! But then a cousin around the same age will show up and say something like, “Whatcha playing?” and then they talk about the game controller or whatever is in front of them. I’ve heard so many adults walk by them and say, “Put the game down and talk to people!” Well, you aren’t saying anything remotely interesting so why should they?

People don’t tend to feel lonely because they ARE alone. They tend to feel lonely because they FEEL alone. This feeling of detachment generally comes from not connecting to anyone around you. You wish you had a partner who was like you, you wish you could hold a conversation with someone who had something in common.

Observers of Life seem to have the gift of compassion. They generally are not lonely. I believe there is a difference between them and people who stare out the windows or watch things around them to kill time. An Observer tends to enjoy people-watching. It reminds me of when I go to Comi-con in San Diego. There are so many people to look at!

If you look at the numbers in Depression rising, it’s mind-boggling. A lonely person isn’t necessarily depressed although they often go hand in hand. But what the numbers don’t show is how many people have escaped it, have moved on to bond with their inner child and learned to enjoy life again.

If you are also an Observer of Life, if you love life, if your compassion for people is high, the demand for you will probably surpass the number of Doctors needed in the world. If you have some way in your life to take some time from your day to reach out to someone who is lonely or depressed, I encourage you to do this because you are so needed!

I’ve mentioned it before that I feel like I should be paying forward all the love and compassion I have been shown. I have been trying to be an Observer of Life instead of trying to control everything.

We don’t have to be interested in the same things to connect to each other, but we can continue to be interested in one another. That tiny bit of compassion could save someone from their extreme loneliness.

I know this because someone’s compassion saved me.

It’s lonely at the top between Bieber and Obama,

Karen :)

“I believe that you control your destiny, that you can be what you want to be. You can also stop and say, No, I won't do it, I won't behave this way anymore. I'm lonely and I need people around me, maybe I have to change my methods of behaving and then you do it.” ~Leo Buscaglia

“The fact that I can plant a seed and it becomes a flower, share a bit of knowledge and it becomes another's, smile at someone and receive a smile in return, are to me continual spiritual exercises.” ~Leo Buscaglia