What is the worst thing you've ever lost?

I received my fifth message this week from someone who lost data. I heard about a girl who lost 6 dozen songs from her mini recorder, someone who lost a hard drive of art work, another musician lost all his tracks from his record, a friend’s laptop was ruined and just now another friend lost all the work on her camera.

Now, I know what you are thinking. Why don’t these people have back-ups? The answer is simple. It happens to almost every one of us at some point. It’s inevitable. I had all my music backed-up and how was I supposed to know that someone (who was supposed to have loved me) would single-handedly destroy them all in a rage? So yes, of course we should back things up…but life just has its circumstantial moments.

Having been in the recording industry for as long as I have been, I hear about these catastrophes periodically, but I have never seen such a domino effect around me all in the same week. While I have no plausible evidence to support my ridiculous theory, I am going to go ahead and put it out there anyways. “Maybe the Universe is sending a bigger message.”

Ok, had someone said that to me upon learning of my data loss way back when, they would have had a door slammed in their face. Knowing that, I hope to be sensitive to those who feel exasperated this week.

The reason I say it could be a bigger message is to not be all mystical and supernatural about the logical answer that ‘it’s technology we are dealing with so of course things mess up’ but to perhaps put some perspective on it. Let me share what I learned.

When my songs were maliciously destroyed, I seriously considered packing in my music career because I just simply couldn’t imagine ever starting over again.

Now of course this vindictive act against me could not compare to what happened to the woman up the highway from me around the same time. She and her husband took her children to her Mother’s for dinner and came home to their house being engulfed in flames. She looked up into the top windows to the flames ripping out of her children’s bedrooms, took a gasp and said, “OMG, the boys could have been sleeping there.” It was faulty electrical work in a very old house….another advanced thing we had in society that eventually broke down.

Since that happened, I have learned that she lost a job, was separated and has since been paralyzed by a snowmobile accident. She now lives in a wheelchair. That is certainly a good look at perspective.

But please understand, I tend not to diminish someone’s pain by suggesting they aren’t starving, but this situation did allow me to consider a life-altering look at the Universe and how our world works.

Have you ever had people say, “God works in mysterious ways” then they walk away and you are still left staring at the broken technology in front of you? Some statements simply aren’t helpful. Encouragement can be empty without help. We smile and appreciate it of course, but sometimes the thirsty person just wants a drink. I just wanted my songs back! When this woman lost her home, I went and lied down on the living room floor in my perfectly fine house and cried for her but I also felt a bit ashamed. I realized that the world wasn’t out to get me. Some things fall under Physics. To say God works in mysterious ways (or insert Nature or whatever word you are more comfortable with) isn’t very accurate. Looking back, my entire experience and revelation wasn’t enveloped in the mysterious, it was well-balanced in logic. Nature didn’t cause my relationship to fail or for my partner to trash my work. Nature didn’t ensure the faulty wiring in this woman’s home would fail. Putting wiring in a home to begin with puts you at risk. Putting work on a hard drive is almost asking for it to be destroyed. Why? Because technology doesn’t work with nature. It’s an extension of our own imagination…it isn’t an extension of Nature.

Do I embrace technology? Absolutely! But I do not place any emotion in it now. If I went out shopping and came home to my place in flames, I would certainly be sad and mourn the situation, bummed that I would have to rebuild…but Nature, God and the Universe will not get the blame anymore.

I believe when we invest too many of our emotions in technology, it is pretty much the same as being in a relationship with someone who has a temper. They may be fine every single day for years, but some malfunction or hiccup may make them break down. If you knew this going into it, you would know the risks. Yes, you’d be upset when it happens, but with realistic expectations, we can minimize our disappointment.

“Maybe the Universe is sending a bigger message.”

The statement is actually ridiculous. The Universe seems to have the same message which like a 24 hour news channel, we just tune into when we want. The big message is always there.

For me, the message was, “There are bigger things ahead of you, quit looking backwards. You have a big job to do.”

I understand your pain everyone! It’s usually very painful for musicians and artists because we feel like our heart was inside the physical thing we made. But really, the true artistry lies inside our spirit. These ashes can serve as amazing gardens for future flowers to grow.

Staring at the ruins too long takes our focus off our bigger purpose.

I think the worst loss of all is the death of our inner child…that’s why I am focusing on getting it back. The rest is whatever to me. ;)

ROCK ON!

Karen :)

“Where the spirit does not work with the hand, there is no art.” ~Leonardo da Vinci

...there she was sitting in my chair, green scales and all.

"Many people die with their music still in them. Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out." ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

I received this quote from our friend Tom on here. I was thinking back to when I worked as a stylist in a hair salon. Bridezilla day could have been one of my favorite days to work because I used to love doing these immaculate up-do styles. As it turned out, every stylist I knew would cringe if they had to do a wedding party. These Monster Brides would suck the life out of us and make us contemplate using our own razors against us. The idea of stabbing my scissors into my temple seemed more appealing than having to deal with the emotional trauma of making sure she left there happy. You pretty much need a psychology degree and a bottle of scotch to accompany your skills.

They would come in a few weeks before and have a trial hair-do. I always recommended it. That way there would be no surprises and I assured them their style would be identically duplicated.

The day would come, she’d fly in late in a massive rage, demand coffee, re-set the air conditioner in the shop, tell other stylists not to use certain sprays within 100 feet of her…you know, just demanding. Two weeks before she would assure me she was calm as a cucumber, would spew off about how she would never be a Bridezilla…and yet there she was sitting in my chair, green scales and all.

The nice thing about there being a Wedding Day, is because it’s a deadline. You can feel good knowing the stomach acid that has been eating out the walls of your gut will subside when it’s over. But many people live with this churning indefinitely…getting ready to live. People freak out on a daily basis in preparation for something that never comes!

It ties into many of the topics I have covered lately about ‘having an idea’ VS ‘doing something about it’. It seems safer to anticipate with anxiety our whole lives than make our ‘Right now’ the ‘Big Day’.

Are you continuously anticipating something in the future?

Is the music, art, love and excitement buried beneath it all dying from suffocation?

What tools do you need to do it?

Are you looking for the tools outside of yourself?

Life is happening right now.

ENJOY IT!

Much love on ya,

Karen :)

I can always be reached on facebook.com/karen.stever …or …thepublicrecord.com/Stever

My myspace email is a disaster . lol

Living in Layers

"Life is the art of drawing without an eraser." ~John W Gardner

I stared at this quote for probably 15 minutes this morning and then thought about it long enough to start writing.

Not even forgiveness is an eraser although we are often told to forgive and forget. I don’t necessarily buy into it. I mean, it’s a lovely thought to think we can completely forget the wrongs (especially if they are ours!) but I know I haven’t forgotten about the things that have happened to me nor do I expect the people I have disappointed will have erased it from their memory.

What I hope for with forgiveness is a tighter relationship between people. When we screw up, I believe a callus is built on our hands, a toughness which makes us ready to combat the next thing together as a unit. We haven’t ditched the good times and we haven’t forgotten the bad ones, but we have decided that the relationship is worth fighting for despite the bad times.

I admire visual art immensely. I love simple pencil drawings but I adore paintings. If he messes up, it’s very difficult to take the paint off of the canvass and so the painter has to work in layers. If he’s really proficient in his work, every layer may be on purpose, but I have talked to painters who have just learned to cover up the mistakes. Then, for others they view each layer as part of the journey and would not want them to be taken away because simply there is a beauty in each brush stroke. They took a chance mixing a new color or applying a thicker amount to the picture. Their risk may have been high, but their open-mindedness exposed a better painting in the end that even surprised themselves.

I feel this way about life. We don’t have an eraser. But if we are open to whatever the next thing is for us, we may just find that each layer that was a perceived error is going to add a rich texture to our character and biography. I would much rather have the lines, wrinkles, calluses and muscle from my experiences than a blank background of sheltered skin. There is nothing remotely interesting about that. :) Nor does it prepare us for the next storm.

I hope that whatever you are painting today, you do it boldly, without caring what anyone thinks about it and if you mess up, you can with a few brush strokes, turn it into your masterpiece where you can reflect upon the layers. After all, I believe it is our layers that make-up who we are…not a blank canvass.

We can always cover it up with a superficial eggshell wash at the end. hahahaa

Be good to you!
Karen :)

I know I began with a quote, but I must add this one too;

"Every child is an artist, the problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up." ~Pablo Picasso