Are you Too Invested at This Point?

“Some people are so invested in their fear and hatred that peace is the most threatening thing they can imagine.” ~a quote from the show 24

I was watching 24 on my laptop while going to sleep last night and that quote jumped out at me. The part where the lady says, “invested in their fear and hatred” is especially striking to me.

The word investment is usually attributed to money. Anyone who has ever had a stock go bad can testify to how painful that is. It’s very damaging when you have to stare at the clicker all day. People who stare too long at it don’t realize they are investing time which to me is far more valuable. I believe this is where the flaw is; thinking the invested money is more valuable than the invested time.

It’s the same as when we place money on a horse to win but if we aren’t betting the farm, the sting shouldn’t be so painful when they lose.

Pride is a huge issue when a person loses. Nobody wants to be embarrassed that they made the wrong choice. If you confidently lip off to your family that you believe something, you don’t ever want to say you changed your mind or the side you are betting on. Just like a football fan has to cheer for a new team in secrecy among his friends, so does a husband have to lie to his in-laws about his marriage failing.
If you have invested a lot of time and money on a team or relationship, you are going to feel like a fool the minute you have to entertain that it failed.

We seldom bring up the opposite part; the positive swing. How did we get to be so threatened by something which is truly better for us? Is it that we hate being wrong, or are we so invested in a political party, religion or relationship that we can’t see when something good wants to heal us?

“invested in their fear and hatred” is very striking to me because we never really think about it like that. As soon as she said it, my mind flashed back to everything I ever thought was true where someone or something enlightened me. Enlightenment gets thrown around a lot, but if you look at it carefully, the word, ‘light’ is in there. Now of course, it could also mean ‘clarification’ or even ‘explanation’ but I love when enlightenment actually makes me feel ‘lighter’ and more at peace.

I don’t worry about what is right or wrong as much. I don’t bathe in being right or ‘standing up for what is right’, I tend to do the defense of a third party thing like when someone has been hurt or something, but my interest is in finding peace rather than winning the fight just because I am invested in being right.
There are actually no prizes (or ones I am remotely interested in) for being right. But I am extremely interested in peaceful dialog. I could sit and listen to people who I think are completely wrong all day long if they are peaceful.

Peaceful people tend to not act that way though. Most people I have met who are truly at peace have no interest in being right or making anyone else right. This is what I trying to accomplish. Sure, I have invested a lot of time in the past on stating my case and my cause, but I am willing to lose the investment altogether to trade it in for peace. It’s a scary proposition though because it calls for change. We are also invested in our own day-to-day habits and rituals.

I believe this is why angry people get angrier when their partner or friend has no interest in fighting with them. If their goal is to be right, the last thing they will want is to talk to a brick wall. They will enjoy getting in the face of the opponent and beat them into submission. So yes, peace is threatening to the cause.

My question is, how can we make peace cool again; not in a John Lennon kind of way, but just simply in our homes? How can we can we begin to view peace as the healer instead of being so afraid of it. If you are a parent who has had to pry your two kids apart and made them say sorry, you’ll realize how peace isn’t the first option even for children who disagree. It’s something we have to strive for, it doesn’t come naturally especially for very passionate people with engaging personalities.

I think the answer is; give up the previous investment; let it go. Fear and hate will go flat eventually.

I also believe the shake-up can be viewed as exciting! Having peace in our homes can make room for all sorts of fun activities!

Crazy-carpeting into the swamp,

Karen :)

“I have too much money invested in sweaters.” ~Bob Hope