1/26/10

My Junk Show

I grabbed a cup of tea and wandered about my place. I was looking at the various instruments like guitars and accordions and knew my Dad influenced me. My various book choices came from Mom who was very much into history and poetry. I have silly mementos. I cut out pictures from junk mail that I find amusing, ignore the advertisement and stick them in envelopes. My CD collection ranges from Lisa Dalbello who is probably my biggest female influence to Deep Purple (Ian’s voice is so kick ass!) There is a lot of classical like Chopin, Beethoven and Mozart. I have metal, rock… you name it. My books and music are inspirational.

I looked through the DVDs which I regard as entertainment (of course some learning as well, but for the most part they are an escape) I love the great comedians like Bob Hope and George Burns, but am also a huge Jim Carrey fan. Then there are the actors who inspire me like Anthony Hopkins. I love my Queensryche; Operation Mindcrime DVD and really dig the Fleetwood Mac live. I adore nature shows, documentaries, Cirque du Soleil and many, many other forms of entertainment.

I got thinking about how a lot of my books, CDs and DVDs are in boxes in Canada. I wondered why I didn’t miss any of them (except my Garry Marshall book- he signed it for me after I worked on a set with him and it’s such a funny book) In thinking about the things that are left there, I wondered why I hadn’t missed them.

The majority of my books back there are very "heavy". Being a huge bookworm, I have read probably every biography on every major world leader. I used to have a fascination with various religions so I have read every book from pretty much any that were translated. I had picked up all the conspiracy theory and apocalyptic scariness you can imagine. I even had some very embarrassing gossip-style books on celebrities who interested me.

I know now why I don’t miss these things. They are for the most part gloomy. I guess I can be proud to say I have been tolerant and open enough to learn, but I don’t miss them because they don’t contribute to my well-being. They do not make me laugh, they don’t make my character grow, they don’t entertain or inspire, and for the most part, they aren’t educational; I don’t learn fact so much as opinion. Don’t get me wrong, I am not regretting the amount of reading I have done, I just feel like as important as it is to surround ourselves with good people, it’s equally as important to furnish our home with things that assist us in being able to be the best we can be to people around us, especially if we have the tendency to be depressed.

This is not to say my home is now pink and sunny, in fact pink is forbidden in my d├ęcor simply because it doesn’t go with me. I have many dark things around me but it all feels very balanced. There is a real sense of calm. I don’t want to go join some big movement and yet I don’t want to curl up under a blanket and wish for death. I am enjoying the art of being.

The art and music that surrounds me now is probably pretty boring to some, but in wandering around with my teacup, I am proud of one thing; everything here is an extension of me. I finally feel like I am reaching a point where things that don’t contribute to my well-being don’t get through the door and if I can assess properly with a clear enough head, the bad ones go out the door. It has taken years of looking back to see that even though some of that reading material was educational and I don’t have regrets, it wasn’t helpful to me or anyone else for that matter.
The worst thing I could have done was had things in my home that were negative while I was going through depression. What a deadly combination or at least contribution.

Do you know what the coolest part of looking at my current "stuff" is? I feel courageous enough to keep things that are me and simplify my life. This is significant…because it means I am brave enough to accept who I am. I don’t decorate based on who comes to visit…my home is very "lived-in". (ok, it’s a junk show, there I said it) But it’s not ‘junk’. ;) The clutter I have now includes things like notebooks and sketchbooks, small stuffed animals, lyric sheets and of course, teacups.

I hope that whatever is in your home; music, books, DVDs, figurines…that you truly feel like it’s an extension of the real you (not what some Mother-in-law or neighbor digs) and that it contributes to your well being and keeps your heart and mind passionate and growing!

Much love on ya!
Karen :)

"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio." ~Rodney Dangerfield

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