Why is our Heart the First to Die?

Dreams of course never make perfect sense and I am not into dream dissection really. I am more of the mind that things throughout my day can influence them or we dream because the brain just needs to keep functioning. I have however had bizarre instances throughout my life come true, I really don’t care if they are a superpower or coincidence, ‘cause I simply don’t care enough. Like, one time I had a dream where I met Jane Lynch and two weeks later when I took my cat, ‘Filthy’ to the Vet, she was in there with her dog…some things in life are just weird.

Last night’s dream was a combination of watching an episode of Dexter before bed and the film "Up" earlier this week …plus visiting my Gramma in the nursing home around Christmas.

I was at a picnic with an odd assortment of people. Some I used to work with, some people I’ve seen on TV…I even think Adam Lambert was there. Lol It was a good sunny day and someone yelled, "He has a gun!" Well, I looked over and it was my Grandpa (My mom’s dad, who actually died years and years ago) I approached him and said, "Grandpa, why are you doing this?" he kept warning me to not come any closer. Grandpa had a really thick head of snowy white hair and dark glasses much like the main character in "Up" (which if you haven’t seen, I would recommend it…I usually don’t like Shrek-y looking animation, but the sets and scene plus story was marvelous) I finally got my arm around him and managed to take the gun from him when I asked, "Do you miss Gramma?" (which is ridiculous because it’s Gramma who is 90 and in the nursing home now) He nodded and said, "Yes." I hugged him and heard myself say,

"Why is our heart the first to die, when it should be the last?"

I woke up shortly after that and lied in bed for a long time thinking about it. Of course the breaking of a heart is symbolic; our heart chambers don’t actually explode when someone we love dies. But I thought of how many elderly people have had their hearts broken when their spouse’s heart attack killed them.

I don’t want to ruin "Up" for you if you haven’t seen it, but I love the idea that the writer(s) noticed that for many old people that their bodies may be aging, but they still have a spirit that wants to explore and discover after they lose someone.

As reality is kicking in here this morning, I am thinking about Gramma lying quite lifeless in the nursing home. I wonder during her many naps how many adventures she is going on in her dreams. Did she and Grandpa have some retirement plans that they never got to do? How does she internally see life now? Does she have many significant regrets?

And for the rest of us, how do we avoid those regrets? Is each chapter that closes in our life really the beginning of a new one? Are we strong enough to view it that way?

For me, I am just continuing to watch for where my purpose is. I used to think there was a big purpose for me, but maybe it’s a string of little ones and what I need to do is blur the breaking of the lines in between chapters, recognizing my heart has been broken but it isn’t dead until it’s dead.

Think I shall go dig for treasures at the Swap Meet today. The sun in LA finally came out after a flooded week.

Go enjoy your weekend!!
Karen :)

"People are like stained-glass windows.
They sparkle and shine when the sun is out,
but when the darkness sets in,
their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within."
~Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

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