Fulfillment Needs a New Measuring Cup

I think if most creative people didn’t have problems, they’d have to look for some.

It’s not that we invite them, or even miss them like a dear old friend, it’s because part of the artist’s soul (while often very introspective) at least desires some sort of outreach or connection either to themselves or others. I for one do not think I can heal the world, I just wish I could. My spirit is temperamental and moody, not explosive like in my past where I was a stick of dynamite waiting to be ignited, but I have a very deep connection to pain and sadness. I don’t find myself particularly sad at this point but I am drawn to others with it. My heart still weighs heavy with topics about animals and children. I hate hearing people rip each other apart domestically, religiously or politically. Gossip hurts me almost as much as the person they are talking about. I know I have a compassionate nature that is much like a ball and chain at times, but I am beginning to understand the deeper side art plays in everything.

Art for me is a way I can stop the emotions from spilling out haphazardly around me. It’s how I can get a grip on the notes and ideas that stir demanding to be set free. (partially why I relate to Beethoven so much like I suggested in our recent discussion of him) I not only write here but in a book, historically on paper, notepads, sticky notes or cardboard if necessary. I am not limited with ideas, but I feel like I maybe have too much going on in my poor little melon. Creating is how the ideas can escape.

I often wonder if the seemingly lumbering gift of art (I use gift ever so loosely) is more of a responsibility than a present. For years, I have felt as though creativity plagued me but I am beginning to wonder if I should have a better look at this so-called gift.

When someone is gifted with anything; mathematical skills, drawing, the ability to speak in front of large audiences etc, it’s usually completed with adoration from the masses, awards or a star on the Walk of Fame. It’s the line of progression we have become accustomed to. The idea being; if you are gifted, you should receive more gifts for your gifts. But what if our individual gifts were really a responsibility?

If your boss handed you a shovel and said, "Go dig a two foot hole" you are kind of expected to go do it. He’s given you the tools and there is an expectation. It is your responsibility to go do it. Now of course this example is imperfect because you expect to be paid for what you are doing. So how can we as artists ever wrap our head around the word responsibility if there is no paycheck? Well I believe the answer has to be, "because giving IS the reward." The problem is while seemingly plagued with art, artists have to eat too. It’s why I have always done other things for money so the art could be free to roam. Our bellies affect our judgment too much.

If my theory is true that all artists feel pulled to drama, connect with compassionate issues or are deeply hurt or affected by the problems either around us (or in us) then it would stand to reason this magnet is pulling us for a reason…for a higher purpose than the rewards and accolades we usually expect. Fulfillment needs a new measuring cup, one that has not been presented to us in the mainstream media. I think this is why we are always searching, always dissatisfied, why our hearts are laden with such heavy burdens and why it would seem we go looking for dramatic events. It’s because art heals…like nothing else, art heals.

There is a very sad world out there. There are potential areas to heal all over the place. If we can truly view each gift as a tool to help heal, if we can take the gifts we are given and just pass them along not expecting something back, none of us will be starving artists. I really believe we can get rid of this "chasing the dream" mentality and start using the art for the greater good and get away from self-indulgence a bit more. If everyone continues this "look at me" path, we will all be staring into mirrors and the people who truly need looking at will be crying somewhere on a street corner.

EVERYONE has a gift. It may be in the arts, it may not be. But most people with more logical gifts have been able to reason out why they have the gift (see the gift of logic is something I have always wished for – quite selfishly) However, artists struggle with knowing what to do with their talents and this makes us completely miserable and forever unfulfilled.

Guess I am trying to insert some logic which if you don’t naturally have it, comes out looking like some surreal painting.

Giving is not only a reward for the obvious reasons, but I know for myself, I can slow down the chaos inside…at least for a time. hahahaha

Ok, back to work…just had to purge some to make room for more. ;) Or am I just receiving all this goo to simply share? I am not a great listener to the higher point, but I am trying.

ROCK ON my friends,

Karen :)

"It is not in the pursuit of happiness that we find fulfillment, it is in the happiness of pursuit." ~Denis Waitley