That is the title of a Chantal Kreviazuk track I was listening to.
Remember around the time my Grandmother passed away, a whole slew of other sad things were going on around me? There’s an old saying that bad things happen in threes, but that has never applied to me. It happens in tens, twenties or dozens and dozens.
The good news is, the community is growing. When I was truly isolated, I had one problem; Depression. I’ll tell you what, though…that sucker equals about 500 problems, so it’s comparable.
I was thinking that even though I am hearing oh so many problems, I don’t feel the weight like my Depression. I think because I really owned that problem but it’s also debilitating so you can’t really function.
Mothers amaze me. I am watching quite a few people go through hospital encounters right now and all I can see is these amazing women in charge of the situations with great big wings on their backs. I bet if you were to ask them, their hearts would be breaking because they have so much love and compassion. Their hurts don’t debilitate them though. This is amazing to me. How on earth do we function when the very person we love is lying in a hospital bed? Why aren’t we crying in a corner somewhere in a catatonic state?
Maybe it’s not happening TO us, maybe we simply aren’t seeing the bigger job we are already doing. We seem to be doing the tasks, showing up when needed, offering up love and inspirational wisdom but do we really notice it is where we are supposed to be?
Some people are not good at being supportive and strong in tough times. I also think it’s too much to tell someone to ‘be strong’ when they are hurting. But from a bird’s eye view, I am seeing strength!
I see so many sad people, I see so many hurting people. Compassion for them like I’ve mentioned before shouldn’t be a burden, it should be igniting our hearts to help! Generally a person who is there to help doesn’t know it’s a job, it’s just instinctive, but make no mistake, that person is providing an invaluable service to the people who are hurting.
I’ve been looking at my own heart lately and evaluating my pain. My heart can bleed fairly easily for those who are going through something, but I feel like I have found this new chamber where I am seeing the beauty in really ugly scenarios. These Moms I have mentioned remind me of my own Mother who took on more than her share. How much it must pain parents to see their child or spouse lying in a hospital bed and yet, they are exactly where they are supposed to be. It’s this higher calling that they might not be aware of because like the adrenaline that kicks in which makes a person able to lift a car off of someone, these people aren’t always sure where their strength is coming from. They might even be shaking their fists into the sky asking, ‘Why Me?’ when the answer to me seems so obvious. ‘Because you are the best person to be in this place at this time and you are needed.’
I also tried a different viewpoint on this. What if you took the blood relation or marriage out of the equation. What if you found yourself at the bedside of a man you didn’t know or a child you didn’t give birth to. What if a big glowing light appeared in front of you and said, ‘This is your purpose, this is your higher calling, this is your job to simply go love this person.’ Could you do it? If all you were ever responsible for was to take care of that one person, would you be able to? I think the answer most people would give would be ‘yes’ because first of all, the big light having a voice might freak you out enough to do it and I think most people have the love (and are equipped) to pull it off.
Where things get complicated is when we already have a relationship with that person. When a child you gave birth to is experiencing kidney failure or when the man you are deeply in love with has heart complications, it’s not very easy to recognize that you might be in this situation for a greater purpose. What if the child was abandoned and had no one there to love them, could you step in? What if that man wasn’t your husband, could you be there for him? Can we zoom out far enough to look down and see how and why we are interwoven the way we are?
I’m not suggesting it’s a good idea to separate our relationship from the people, but I find it interesting to imagine different scenarios for the purpose of seeing our purpose. I think it’s completely awesome and humbling when we are thought of so highly, that we are entrusted with providing love for someone. It seems like we are chosen warriors in a film. I’m not suggesting the focus should be on our rewards, but rather I view it as a way to see the situation for what it really is, outside of our breaking hearts. We are all so needed! THAT is what is making me smile.
Depression isn’t a challenge for us to overcome, it’s a debilitating burden we need to fix. If we can get our spirits healthy, we too can experience the bigger joy in helping others and that is where we can truly overcome any challenges that come our way ,recognizing that we have a greater purpose in it all.
Wondering why every warrior film has to have a full choir backing it,
Karen :)
“Be larger than your task.” ~Orison Swett Marden
He also said, “Our trials, our sorrows, and our grieves develop us.”
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