Addressing the Elephant in the Room

I just finished listening to a person in the one of the companies I am involved with give a really eloquent, uplifting speech.

I almost hate to call it that because it was more open dialogue. Unlike a motivational speech which just bolsters the spirit of people for a short snap of time, he managed to actually heal the team. He did it by doing a few things. He addressed the elephant in the room head-on (as opposed to dancing around or skirting the issue), showed a huge amount of compassion to the feelings of others around him (and listened to their case) and offered encouragement individually to the strengths of each person (and reaffirmed what an asset they are). After addressing the individual problems, he moved on to address the company’s problems and then ended with how excited he was about the positive aspects and the bright future for everyone. The whole dialogue wasn’t necessarily ‘pretty’ but I did find it productive and organized.

I think it’s fair to say hurt feelings can kill the dynamic of any relationship, business or otherwise. You may have seen a recent status update where I wrote; "Even if someone's insecurity or amount of sensitivity seems irrational to me, doesn't mean I shouldn't be sensitive to their feelings. What a lesson!" It was a thought that had come to me late last night because I watched it happen. I witnessed a dysfunctional scenario where I couldn’t believe the person in the company was being so irrational and overly sensitive. I don’t believe I or anyone else has the job of toughening that person up or to make them suck it up. I do however think the person’s dysfunctional attitude shouldn’t be allowed to continue where they are a drain to everyone around them, but this doesn’t mean it can’t be handled like a pro as opposed to a schoolyard bully.

In the first paragraph, this person’s calm, well-articulated demeanor was the absolute catalyst in the healing I mentioned. My point is that I truly believe we all have the capability to heal relationships and get the job done. It’s a specialized craft and I believe it’s an exquisite art form.

Most of my life I have not possessed this and I consider it for the most part a gift that few people get. I used to chalk it up to "Oh well, some people get the gift (i.e. patience) and others don’t. Guess I didn’t get that gift." But now, I feel determined to just find the best people to learn the skill set from. If I was truly born impatient and hot-headed, can I not just acquire skills like a tradesman? How many people will tell you they are going to college or university to learn a skill or get a degree? Is it possible that "If you can dream it, you can do it" shouldn’t just apply to a career, but maybe also our character?

I just want to move ahead, I am so tired of holding onto bitterness and I’m just nicely smoothing out the furrow between my brows. It feels so much better being part of something that is healing.

Much love on ya!
Karen :)

"To keep your character intact you cannot stoop to filthy acts. It makes it easier to stoop the next time." ~Katharine Hepburn