Can You Finally Just Ditch It?

In my cleaning lately (with intent on moving at some point) I have run across several memories of yesteryears. These are things that I have simply had to look at and say, “Do I use this, yes or no?” and that is about the extent of the deciding factor in whether or not I keep it. That is the simplified version of cleaning things out.

I’ve moved many times in my life and have gone through many hellish moments where I sat cross-legged on the floor, on the couch, on my bed and stared at some old memory which didn’t make me feel good. It could have been a letter, a picture, a gift or dried-up flower.

I’ve done this with emails too and I noticed a comment from a friend who said he was going through his email account and finally ditching the emails from his ex-wife when they were first getting to know each other. I think we all have a huge history of things like that. The idea of keeping them is great if you stay together forever. You’d hate to ditch them in the event that you got back together so there you are tethered to something where you aren’t holding on and you aren’t letting go. I have cleaned house on many accounts like that over the years where I asked myself why I was keeping them and what purpose it served.

Some people have the miraculous gift of being able to catalog all memories like chapters of a book where they can look back at past relationships and openly view them as chapters which have contributed to who we are. But the problem is when our emotions sit in a state of limbo much like what I suspect happened with these emails he is ditching. I think he maybe asked himself if it was time to get rid of them now or maybe it hurt him too much to see them, so he is ditching them to start fresh.

I think the mind obviously has to be in sync with the action, but sometimes a simple action like ditching the reminder can assist us in our healing. Maybe he is making room for new possibilities which would be an exciting angle to take! I would hope though that by cleaning it out, he has decided that they simply serve no purpose in contributing something positive to his spirit. That is my reason for ditching things like that.

Pictures might be the most painful (or maybe a wedding video would be worse) but the photos might be the most common thing. The paper they are printed on seems like something you shouldn’t throw out and for the most part they are stored in corners of our house that when we look at them simply remind us of how crappy of a house-keeper we are. Lol And who wants THAT reminder, right?

Again, my biggest assessment in ditching things is “Do I use this, yes or no?” but that could morph easily into, ‘Is this person part of my life, yes or no?’ and if the answer is no, what does keeping a photo or letter assist in accomplishing? The better question might be, ‘Is this person a healthy part of my life?’ I don’t throw away items from my Mother who died because she was an inspiring and loving part of my life and very involved in developing my character.

I feel it is extraordinarily painful to see the reminders of things we consider a failure but I think the more painful thing lying in the heart of the matter is our broken heart. I think we should do whatever we need to in order to get it healed so that we can look forward with bright eyes and live the life we were meant to. If that means photos and letters go in the garbage, so be it. They are material things that can be heavy weights on our hearts and those items are NOT the person anyways. If you have made a choice to not be with or around the individual, keeping the remnants can be poisonous and send our unhealthy spirits into a whirlwind of self-destruction.

My thought is that if you were to ever meet up with the person again, you could start fresh and create new memories anyways. It’s detrimental to a reunion to bring old skeletons along for the ride anyways.

My skeletons are only allowed to come along if they pick up an instrument. ;)

Finally ditched my 5 year old Tortilla chip with the smiley face on it,

Karen :)

“Too many people have been analyzing their pasts, their childhoods, their memories, their parents, and realizing that it doesn't do anything-or that it doesn't do enough.”
~James Hillman