Insensitivity

I’ve been watching Six Feet Under on dvd late at night after I’m done working to wind down. It’s a really great series. I love that it touches on so many different topics.

It makes me crazy watching two people having a discussion which lacks sensitivity. It seems like there are so many situations where a huge fight breaks out and it could have been avoided by simply showing a teeny ounce of warmth towards the other person. I don’t think they necessarily had to change their feelings, just how they say it. Ok, you are thinking, ‘it’s TV Karen’? Well, I’ve seen it about a thousand times in real life too including out of my own mouth.
Something I was taught in the home is courtesy. We had to have consideration for others. I’m only beginning to understand what that really means. Consideration, much like respect isn’t something demanded, in fact if you say to your partner, "Show some respect!" you are pretty much guaranteed to have none. Mom used to say, "People like to be heard, they don’t really need to be right."

So, here I am watching Six Feet Under and every conversation I am finding myself looking back and forth at their conversation thinking, ‘OMG! LET THEM SPEAK!!!’ We tend to jump to assumptions based on prior actions of a person rather than what they are presently doing or saying. I am finding the phrase, "Yeah, I’ll believe that when I see it" to be a very annoying phrase. Sure, based on prior actions and character you might be thinking it, but it adds fuel to the fire of a conversation and it can be unfair.
Please let me stipulate that when I say these things, I am basing them off a conversation between two people who by all accounts care about each other. If you hate someone, just get away from them. lol If we live with another person, I would think we want to actually make something work and be around them.

Gentle words work way better for me, even though I know it’s a popular belief that anger gets more done. Let’s pretend anger DOES get more done. I am not interested in dropping my character to get things done. At the end of my day, I don’t want to total the minutes and say, ‘Geeze I was a jerk for 2/3rds of it.’ Or ‘Hey I got it done and I know that person is mad at me for it.’

I was taught very early on to also treat insects and animals with a gentle touch. I’ve seen that Monk a few times on the trails lately and his interaction with insects, the fish in the stream and the people around is such an enviable softness. He is part of the world, not bullying it. I love that.
And yet, why is he the strongest force on those trails? Interesting, huh? How can someone so gentle look like a superhero to me? I feel like I would not only feel safe talking to that man, but I feel like I’d be open to absolutely anything he wanted to say to me which is more than I can say for those yelling at me or cutting me down.

I think some people are naturally more sensitive to the feelings of living creatures around them and some of us have to work at it. ;)

Hope you are doing GREAT!
Karen :)

"Compassion automatically invites you to relate with people because you no longer regard people as a drain on your energy." ~Chogyam Trungpa

ADDENDUM; I meant a Monk as in long orange robe, not the TV character. lol