Monopoly VS The Game of Life

I do love people. I am a people watcher by nature. It's not just the obvious visual differences but the personality clashes always make for good drama, right?

Had I not been into music so much, I may have entered the world of journalism. You get to write and you get to learn. I genuinely like asking questions because human beings are simply fascinating! More often than not, when I attend social functions I find myself walking away thinking, "Wow, that person was REALLY like that. Wow." You sometimes can't make it up, ya know?

I used to be a "net-worker". Many people frequent as many parties, bars and studios as possible to try and sell themselves. Los Angeles varies a bit from say, Toronto but I have grown nauseated with the showy "look-at-me" fodder. I would like to go to one social outing just for one hour even of one night and have someone just have a human discussion without trying to sell their resume to me.

Now, I am totally aware of people needing to get work and I completely applaud the tenacity behind the driven people who actively look for work, this is cool. But when you are sitting across the table at some pub or restaurant and someone is talking to you for what seems like hours wishing you were a mirror, that's when I just about lose my mind! (unless it's like the mirror the lady held up in the Romper Room episodes that was just a frame and no mirror...HA!!!) I don't need to be doted on, that is clear by my meager social schedule.

So here's what I have done to cut a bunch of crap and still maintain my cool. ;)

Whenever I meet someone new, I start the Q n A technique. Now many of my friends on here are no nonsense people who probably would advise me to cut the crap and just leave the party, (I hear ya! I do!) but between my fascination with people in general and my need to maintain my need to positively affect people, I maybe stay at these awful functions longer than I want to. (or I have a twisted affinity for the Peanuts Teacher waaaah wahhhh wah wah waaaaaaaaah...)
But, here's what the Q n A does for me.

When I steer the conversation by asking someone about 'their' life, I find two things emerge;

1. I get to meet a brand new potential friend in my life and I walk away thinking, "YAY, cool new person!"

2. I find out I never want to talk to that person again. lol (nah I'll talk to them again, I'll just allocate a lot less time...heehee)

For the last few months, I have been trying this method. I guess I am blowing my cover for anyone reading this if I haven't actually met you in person...you'll be onto me. HA!

I start by asking questions. I will ask as many as humanly possibly...dozens and dozens. At some point during the questions, the person sitting across from me will either ask me one back or bring someone else into the conversation (if they finally notice them sitting in their peripheral vision). This little science experiment is usually an early indicator of the type of person I am dealing with. I personally get bored listening to myself talk, but if they at least ask something back, I find out they want to have some human dialogue.

Here's what is AMAZING to me. I would say that while I don't see these meetings as a waste of time because I do like people, I am overwhelmed how many people LOVE to hear themselves go on and on and on and on (much like a STEVER blog, right) lol

So here is my public plea;

When you go out somewhere and you meet new people, is it possible to ask someone a question about them? You know, possibly be aware of how much time in an evening you talked about yourself? I have been guilty of this...I've heard myself blithering. I think I tend to ramble more about some news topic more than myself, but I can understand "monopolizing" a conversation. I guess I have just heard enough people do this that I think, "OOOOOH if that is what I sound like, I need to shut up!"

SO next time you go out somewhere, I recommend trying this experiment. See how many people will just go on and on and on. I giggle at how they don't even notice they are being interviewed! Sometimes someone else in the room will say, "Hey Karen, are you interviewing them?" And in my head I think, "BINGO!" And damn if the person I am interviewing STILL keeps talking about themselves EVEN after someone brought it to their attention! LOL!

OK, so I am always less annoyed after sharing with everyone on here. Thanks for listening to me take over this space. Oh you sometimes have to amuse yourself, right?

So, tell me about you! Your turn.

Whenever I think about Romper Room, I think about the Polka Dot Door. HOW FREAKING GRAND ...that song is in my head now....geeeeeeeeeeeeze.

Cutting the crap and leaving the party now,
Karen

"Language commonly stresses only one side of any interaction." ~Gregory Bateson